During our training seminars men frequently ask the question “How Do You Get Girls?” I write this blog to help men improve their game and learn social dynamics that effect the attraction and seduction process. The goal is to help men become more persuasive in their social interactions with women. The concept that I would like to discuss with you today is called disqualification.
Disqualify – verb: any statement that shows a woman that you are not hitting on her, when in fact you are attracted to her.
The concept seems counter-intuitive but it is a very important building block in the attraction process.
Disqualifying is the corner stone of flirting. You show the woman that you are attracted to that you are not interested in her.
It seems counter-intuitive, but it works.
It has something to do with “loss aversion.” We naturally want what we can’t have. When we feel the loss of someone we naturally have a heightened desire for that person. We have a tendency to be more sensitive to potential losses than to potential gains. You want the conversation to shift from her thinking “this guy is hitting on me” to “This guy is non-threatening.”
Our goal when approaching women is to enter into a natural conversation and create a sense of comfort without telegraphing interest. The way we avoid telegraphing interest is through the process disqualifying. In order to build attraction you must first show her that you are not interested in her. If you approach a woman using a more aggressive strategy you appear desperate and women sense the desperation and find it unattractive.
Truly beautiful women have hundreds of men competing for their attention. When you properly disqualify your target you present a unique challenge that women find intriguing. They think “I can’t have this guy. How can I get him?” and they want what they can’t have.
How Do You Get Girls