One of my favorite books that I refer to frequently is called Influence: by Robert B. Cialdini. Robert is a Professor of Psychology at Arizona State University. His teachings on Influence and Persuasion are highly regarded. Many of his teachings can be applied to your PUA training. There are certain principals of Influence that will show you How To Get A Girl.
There are four principals that influence decision making and apply directly to the attraction and seduction process. I will touch briefly on each principle of influence as taught by Robert B. Cialdini in his book Influence and explain how these principles can be applied to improve your game. By having a firm understanding of the principles that influence our decision making behavior you can learn How To Get A Girl. I will now refer to these principals of influence as weapons of influence.
Weapons of Influence:
- Social Proof
Social Proof – This principle states that we determine what is correct by finding out what other people think is correct. The principle applies especially to the way we decide what constitutes correct behavior. This psychology is important to understand for a PUA. Usually, when a lot of people are doing something, it is the right thing to do. Generally we make few mistakes by acting in accord with social evidence than by acting contrary. The greater the number of people who find an idea correct, the more a given individual will perceive the idea to be correct. How does this apply to getting girls?
Imagine the two example below:
1.) You pick up your date and head to a local Mexican restaurant for dinner. You have interesting conversation over a good meal. After dinner the date transitions to a martini bar where you meet a group of friends for drinks. The date progresses at a nice pace and you enjoy cocktails and conversation. As the evening winds down you take your date home and tell her that you should hang out again. You kiss her good night and go home. (Sounds like a pretty average first date.)
2.) You ask your date to meet you for cocktails before dinner at your favorite restaurant. You have the cocktail portion of the date staged. You have table with three hot girlfriends or models (Hired Help). You are talking drinking having a good time. Your date arrives and finds you surrounded by beautiful women. As your date arrives you wave her over and make introductions to each person at the table and then excuse yourselves and leave on your dinner date.
By meeting your date in the staged cocktail setting you demonstrate social proof that you have beautiful girlfriends. The social proof communicates in a non-verbal way that you are a man of high value.
Liking – This principle states that people prefer to say yes to individuals they know and like. What are factors that increase our overall attractiveness and likeability? I have aggregated a list of some determining factors that Cialdini has mentioned below:
- Physical Attractiveness – This is a response that social scientists call the Halo Effect. A halo effect occurs when one positive characteristic of a person dominates the way that that person is viewed by others.
- Similarity – We like people that are similar to us. Whether the similarity is in the area of opinions, personality traits, back ground, or lifestyle. We are more likely to say yes and be in compliance with someone we are similar to.
- Compliments – We are more likely to “like” and comply with someone who gives us praise. We tend to like people who say that they like us.
- Familiarity- We tend to like people that we share in our positivity and have frequent and repeated social contact.
During the courtship process you are constantly attempting to seek the approval of your target. Finding ways to identify commonalities and similar interests will help you to gain the approval of your target. Giving genuine compliments without telegraphing interest will also help your to gain her approval.
Authority – We are conditioned from childhood to accept the influence of authority figures and we are often vulnerable to the symbols of authority. Compliance professionals understand that when draped with titles, clothes and images of authority they are in control. When we react to authority in an automatic fashion , there is a tendency to do so in response to the mere symbols of authority.
During the attraction and seduction process when seeking compliance of a woman. It helps to demonstrate symbols of authority that show that you have power. By doing so you show your target in a non-verbal way that you are a man of high value.
Scarcity – We assign more value to opportunities when they are less available. People want what they can’t have.
Stimulating jealousy or the idea of loss is a powerful tool to leverage during the attraction and seduction process.
I hope that these principals are helpful as you learn How To Get A Girl.