The question “How Do You Get A Girl?” is the most commonly asked question during our boot camp events. One powerful concept that we teach is the method of reciprocation. Persuasion professionals use reciprocation to become more influential in social interactions. The universal norm of reciprocation is what obligates us to repay others for what we have received from them. It is what drives us to return the favor in social interactions.
Research has shown that people who receive a small unsolicited gift from a stranger are more likely to be compliant to requests.
How does the reciprocation theory apply to getting girls? Seeking the approval of a beautiful woman in a bar or nightclub can be a challenging task. Using reciprocation can increase your personal likability, build trust and demonstrate value. You don’t necessarily have to be liked to receive benefits from reciprocation, you just need to be observant and generous.
The idea is simple. Seek to help out others and they will feel a social obligation to support you at a future date.
President John F. Kennedy once famously said “Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.” There is no better advice for people who are looking to become more influential.
Generally, people in the pick-up community advise men to avoid buying women drinks. Partly, because if you are approaching 10 – 15 women per night buying drinks can become quite costly. But, in certain situations I believe that the gesture can go a long way in demonstrating value. After buying a woman a drink or offering a sincere compliment, she will feel a social obligation to be compliant to other future requests.